My Treasure Chests

It all depends how you define treasure, if it is to do with Gold, Silver, Precious Stones or Money, you will be disappointed with this post. For me treasure is what money can't buy . . . I treasure many memories that are priceless from the time I was a little child. I hold on to those memories or special moments because it touched me and shaped me. In addition it also brings back the Joy I experienced at that point of time.

These memories cover my growing years with my family, extended family, friends, Schools, Colleges, vacations, festivals and even at work. At times some of these memories get triggered by an incident or when I get together with people who co-created those memories. I also revisit these memories by design and come away refreshed and rejoicing. The process is simple . . . from a very early age I collected and preserved some physical item related to a particular memory. These are stored in boxes and all that I needed to do is to open a box to visit the memory! Of late the boxes are overflowing and I am in the process of finding bigger quarters for the memory objects also called ‘Raj's treasures’!

There are photographs, badges, letters, books, cards, plates, souvenirs, paper fans, Menus, Match Box etc. There is also a very special shirt which one of my teams gave me in recognition of the value I added to them. Another one is a Prefect's badge belonging to a school prefect- The girl I fell in love with and eventually made her my life partner. The badge takes me down the rich memory lane of our getting to know each other and falling in love forever.

Visiting the memories also reminds me of what determination and prayer can achieve. There were enumerable times when I set out on some really impossible Goals wondering if I was taking on more than I can bite but in the end Success was mine even if it was through failures!

My heart goes out to those who gave me these memory treasures or co created it with me and I have begun to ask, "Am I creating great memories for others so that they too may enjoy visiting them in times to come?” If we can create memorable occasions for others, it will be a great tribute to those who gave us such priceless treasure of memories.

Objects Of Beauty!

As I travel around the world, I get excited to see how mundane day to day utility items from the past and even present has been preserved and exhibited so creatively. The wagon in this visual displayed in Haandorf village, near Adelaide, South Australia is one example. I also found a small old car in one of the traffic islands in Sydney used as a plant stand. The car minus the engine and bonnet has been preserved well and colourful flowering plants grow out of where the engine once resided. Across the world there are many more examples of such creative and beautiful display of things that touch your heart and are a feast to the eye. Every time I see such a display I rejoice that in our busy world there are people who still think outside the box and delight fellow citizens or the tourists. My heart fills with gratitude to the people behind the initiative . . . The idea person who thought of it first, the team of people who actually installed it and finally the caretaker who lovingly looks after it and takes special care day after day to preserve it. Unfortunately these are unsung heroes who do not get any recognition and yet they toil on with their mission.

One might be tempted to dismiss them with the thought that it is their job or they are paid for it etc. Even if they are employees in the rolls of the city council I strongly feel that just doing their job would not result in an object of beauty. I have also seen in some cities various displays that just stand there with an apology either because it is poorly executed piece of work or has been forgotten by its caretakers and is grounded in dirt. Such exhibits clearly tell you that it is the handiwork of those with 'I just work here' attitude.

That brings me to the thought that every output of ours is a show piece, be it a financial statement, a project report, a dish, a product, service offering etc. It is meant for the delight of someone and that person who uses our output will only be delighted if we create it passionately with all our heart. I believe that our purpose in life is to use our talents to create show pieces or offerings that add value to our customers and delight them.

I have started taking a call on what I do, to make sure that I am not just meeting deadlines and creating outputs that meet the minimum requirement of utility. I want to make sure, what I create are Objects Of Beauty!

The Joy Of A New Day !

Are you excited when you wake up in the morning? I for one love waking up and realising that I have been given the gift of another day. . . A full day to touch lives, add value and fulfil the purpose of my life. Not only that with every new day, we get another opportunity to be different, to mend our ways and make this world a better place to live in!

The rut sets in when we take each day for granted and believe that there is an unlimited supply of days in our life. Having something in abundance is always a problem as we either get bored with it or look for other attractions that we think can bring us more excitement. It is true that given the life expectancy of at least 70 years for a healthy person, you should have 25, 550 new days in your life! Now that is a lot but the tragedy is that the supply runs out fast and many only becomes conscious of the gift of a new day in their golden years waiting to meet their maker. Others start appreciating this gift when they come to know that all of the 25550 days was not meant for them because of some deadly decease that they have been diagnosed with.

Fortunately for me I have been conscious of the 'Present' that I get every morning as I wake up. I tell myself “Wow it is a new day" and get all excited about the immense possibilities that the new day brings. Each day is precious and waking up is a Joy! On week days I have trained myself to jump out of the bed as soon as I wake up. Having got a gift I want to unravel it and not stay in bed merely looking at it. After the morning cup of tea, quiet time and the other rituals I am ready for work by 8 AM and all excited to use my gift. Having started well, my day goes well. I do face challenges and pressures that can derail my day but I don't allow my negative thoughts to turn into feelings of hurt and act in a manner that I regret later or wreck my gift.

Over the years my audience in the various forums, where I speak have challenged me to tell them how anyone can appreciate a new day, if they have nothing to look forward to or if they are stuck in a coercive relationship, boring job etc. My response has always been about changing our mindset. Surely we need to find things to do that we love and are passionate about and have relationships that rock, but the key is to focus on our purpose in this world. Self centred activity will bloat the ego but selfless pursuit to add value to others or make this world a better place to live will fill you with Joy and make you look forward to every day.

Who knows, with the change of mindset the Joy that fills your heart from selfless activities may soon transform your relationships and your uninteresting jobs! So rejoice that the sun rises every day and we get the gift of a new day!

It is Broken but I will take it!

The other day I was at the grocery checkout patiently waiting for my turn when I overheard the cashier at the next checkout counter pointing out to the customer that one of the 12 eggs that the Customer had picked up and packed was broken. The Customer to my surprise said it did not matter and requested for billing the same. The cashier offered to get one of his colleagues to pack a fresh set of 12 eggs and even called out to his colleague but the customer was adamant and paid for the 12 eggs he had packed with the broken egg. Why would anyone want to carry home a broken egg? Besides being a wasted effort it would also add work in terms of cleaning up the other 11 eggs!

I couldn't get an answer immediately but a few seconds later I realised that I had just witnessed an act of integrity and selflessness. The Customer held himself responsible for the breakage and wanted to pay for the egg. When he packed it, it was good but the heavy potato bag which went over it in the trolley may be the culprit. You might say "well he could have paid for an extra egg and taken the offer of a fresh set. That is where his selflessness came through. He did not want to put additional burden on the staff or fellow shoppers by slowing down the line while they get him a fresh dozen.

Contrary to this the same evening a movie that I was watching showed the heroine drop and break a glass doll accidentally in the supermarket. She looked around, seeing that no one had seen her, picked up the broken pieces, balanced it together and left it on the display counter and walked away!

As I mulled over the two incidents the focus turned to me and the question that got my attention was, "what would I do?”. In the first instance I think I would take the offer of the cashier to have the egg replaced justifying myself that I did not wilfully break the egg. In the second instance, I would bring the broken doll to the attention of the staff and offer to pay for it.

I was not very proud of myself . . . I wished that I could be like the Customer with the broken egg. An egg does not cost much but then integrity is not based on the value involved but rather it is a practice, every day practice that makes it a way of Life! This incident opened my eyes and challenged me to take my integrity quotient to the next level . . . Integrity in all dealings even if the value involved is negligible!

I Salute the customer for his high level of integrity and rejoice that we have people like him a light to others!

Where is the Beach ?

On a recent holiday at a Beach resort we were surprised to find that the Sea had come in and claimed the vast stretch of the golden beach. To arrest further erosion the authorities had piled up huge black boulders on what was left of the sandy stretch. Not a pretty sight, worse still there was no way we could wet our legs in the incoming waves or sit back in the sand and admire the sea. Disappointment and anger were the first reactions followed by a feeling of being cheated and a host of questions followed . . . "Why didn't the hotel tell us?" "Had we known we would have cancelled and gone elsewhere" etc.

Fortunately the Hotel did not give us a chance to pose those questions or turn our anger on them! Even before we got to the Beach we had experienced their hospitality as we checked in and the personal attention they showered on us. We did not have a heart to 'fight' with them! Later as sane moments returned, we realised that the hotel had informed us as we checked in that the sea had come in and the beach was not accessible and had told us how to get to another beach little far away. We had not paid attention to that conversation as we were overwhelmed by the hotel nestled in the heart of nature. It was exotic! It looked as though the nature had moved out of the way for the construction of the hotel and then returned to cover up the brick and mortar. The staff were very friendly and did not seem to have the word 'No' in their vocabulary! The view from our cottage perched on the hill top was breathtaking. We could see the sea in all its splendour and the thick blanket of green vegetation running down to the sea was a real feast to our eyes. The room itself was so tastefully done and had every imaginable feature a hotel room can provide.

As we thought more about the missing beach we realised it did not matter, there was so much going for us. With that call taken and the disappointments pushed back, we set out to enjoy a great holiday.

Looking back I was reminded again of the fact that In life there will be disappointments . . . but we should not let those shut out other opportunities for Fun, Laughter, Friendship, Giving and Joy . What a waste it would have been if we sulked about the beach and were blind to the beauty around us and blocked out the people who were dedicated to giving us a memorable holiday. The other lesson was, when you are genuine and go out of your way to delight your customer, even the most demanding customer won't have a heart to take you to task if you are not able meet all their expectations. That applies to our relationship with others too. Be it a colleague, friend or a family member. If you treat them well and add value to them they are bound to overlook whole lot of your shortcomings!

So rejoice with what you have!

My Joy List

Couple of weeks ago I started working on my 'Joy' List. The idea was to list out everything that I enjoy doing and see the possibilities of filling my day with those activities, so that I do things that I enjoy and have a great day. The very first surprise of the exercise was the length of the list. I did not have to wrack my brains to come up with the list, in the very first sitting I had listed 10 plus! Over the next two sittings the list grew and touched 30!! I suspect the list may grow with time as I experience new activities and begin to like it. The second surprise was that only 10 of the things in my joy list found space consistently in my Life. The third surprise was that many of the things that I enjoy doing bundled together would earn me a living. So if I planned well the word 'Work' would disappear to a great extent and would be replaced by 'Joy' as I enjoy doing it!

Let me introduce you to my Joy list, I have processed and categorised it into three parts, although they are not stand alone silos.

Category number one is about Relationship - First on the list is Bina the love of my life for 26 years. I enjoy her company and cherish what we have together as a couple. Then comes my two sons and my daughter, we have great time together as a family. Extended family, Friends and entertaining make up the rest of category No. 1.

Category two is centred around me. The list consists of activities that you may consider mundane or boring but I love doing them. Walking, Reading, Writing, Eating, Giving, Sleeping, listening to music, Interior decoration, Experiencing Nature, Having Tea, Weekend movie are some of the things that make up this category.

Category Number three is about those items that I enjoy doing and get paid for. I would not want to think of it as work because I enjoy doing them! Problem Solving, Facilitating learning sessions, Creating Learning Programs, Mentoring, Brainstorming, Public speaking, Planning make up the last Category.

Now that the Joy list is compiled and handy, I turn to it every time I feel life is becoming mechanical to pick up something that I enjoy doing and do it. Our day to day routine is made of many activities which may be mundane or unexciting but if you know your ‘Joy list’ you can make a better day with things that you enjoy doing.

Turning Your Disappointments into Appointments of Joy !

Over the weekend I found time to leaf through my 2008 personal Journal and revisit few days of the past year. As I read my account of those days, memories came flooding back and the reflection that followed taught me  few lessons.

One such lesson was about turning our disappointments into appointments of Joy!

Bina and I had started the practice of a date many years ago. The idea was to have quality time in each other’s company, once a week, away from parental responsibilities and professional pressures.  It had worked out well for us and both of us look forward to Friday evenings, when we could be out on our date. The evening is spent window shopping, sitting around in a café sipping tea or coffee and finally dinner at our favourite restaurant.

The page that caught my attention was a Friday when I was down with a back problem. The problem had started a couple of days ago and I was on medication. I was hoping that I would be well enough to take Bina out on our date but by Friday afternoon, it was evident that my back was yet to heal.  An extra dose of medicine too did not help. I was disappointed and felt sad thinking of how disappointed Bina would be, when she learned that the date has been cancelled. 

The disappointment and sadness were all set to paralyse my brain and help me wallow in self pity.  I however   managed to break free and think of alternative activities which we could do together at home.  A number of ideas came through but the one that I liked the best was about having our date at home! Soon pieces of the plan came together   and I set to execute it. . . 

As soon as Bina came home I told her that  I had planned a very special date at home.  She was very understanding and said that my health came first and that there were many more Fridays in the pipeline and that she was OK with staying at home. When she went to another part of the house I managed to get off the bed, have a bath and dress up. Next I limbed around and immersed our sitting area in candle light with a dozen or so candles and called out to Bina.  She was surprised to see me dressed, and the room flooded with candles, but lost no time to catch the mood and kick off our date. 

 Friday is the day off for our house keeper, our children too have their own plans and so we had the house to ourselves.  Bina made some tea and we sat sipping tea and chatting. Later as it started raining, we watched the rain and felt the magic it created for us. At some point of time my date excused herself  and called our favourite restaurant and asked them to deliver our dinner home. Even though it was outside their delivery area and it was raining heavily, they obliged!  

 Soon we were having a candle-lit dinner with some great music in the background.  Overall it turned out to be a very memorable date for us!  We enjoyed every bit of it and wished that the night would never end!      

Yes we can turn our disappointments into appointments of  Joy if only we try!